WARNING... I may ramble!

So... I have been chatting with an old friend today and she says I should blog. She thinks it will be funny! I think she might just be delusional from being prego BUT I figure I will give it a try... BUT my computer just popped up and said battery low please plug in... SOOOO... this will have to start tomorrow! ;)

BORING!!!

Well... this week has been a little slow and boring for me. I did get my entire house cleaned (including the bathrooms) and most of the laundry put away! I haven't been able well I haven't been motivated to do much cleaning lately... so I was excited to get it all done! :) I am a little bit of a clean freak!!! Oddly enough the zoloft I am on is also sometimes used to treat OCD SO... I think it is helping me in more ways than 1! :) haha I am a boring person. I sometimes get so BLAH just sitting around the house day in and day out... I don't have any reason to get out and go somewhere unless I am going to the grocery store or the doctors.... I don't know of many "free" things to take the kids. I don't know many people in the area to have play dates or anything... It might be the death of me! :( I need to find some friends for REAL!! I would love to meet some people with kids so Isabella can get some other interaction with kids her age. I have realized in my almost 26 years of life that I am not great at making new friends... I don't know how to start a friendship... I always wait for someone else to do the work.... then I can be a friend... well I guess I am a good friend... I don't have many good friends so I don't know... :( OH WELL!! God will help me!!! Maybe there are some groups online for me to join to find some play groups!!!

Life must go on... Now me and the kiddos need to find something to do to get out of this house for a while... Maybe we will just go and play in the sand box in the back yard!! :)

who knew it would be so complicated

Why is it so incredibly difficult to find a good comfy bra that fits while nursing!?!?!?! I have had the HARDEST time EVER finding a good nursing bra that fits and is comfortable. Even when I was nursing Isabella I never found a good bra. Motherhood maternity didn't know what they were talking about when it came down to bras... they said i was a 36D when I was nursing Isabella when i wore one of THEIR bras in and was falling out of it... (36E)... yea no way I'm fitting into a 36D. So I did some research online to try and figure out how to find my own bra size... who knew there were so many different ways to figure out bra size? and to know that some of the ways just aren't correct!!
After Isabella weaned and I was sure my boobs weren't shrinking anymore I went and got fitted at Nordstrom (which there aren't any in this area...) BUT i was a 34DDD or (F) WHOA that's a jump when pre-pregnancy size was a 34C! Now I am nursing my 2nd child and after taking a "poll" of other nursing mothers online I figured my size wouldn't change too much with him... I was wrong! :( I FINALLY found 2 websites with the SAME WAY OF MEASURING YOUR BRA SIZE!!! YES!!! One site actually used my exact measurements as their example!! WOO HOO FOR ME!!! So I am now a 34H... CRAZINESS... SO I have to order some new bras online because no one sells bras in that size in a store in this area... :( Muchless a nursing bra!! It just baffles me that stores that sell maternity clothes and nursing bras do not sell bras with a small band and a larger cup size... because well your boobs can grow drastically during pregnancy and nursing and your body doesn't necessarily have to grow drastically with it!
BUT my excitement is that 2 of the 4 bras I ordered came in the mail today!! WOO HOO!!! I get them out and try them on... and one is just a tad too small in the cup and the other is just a tad too large in the cup! SERIOUSLY! hahaha why is it difficult!? but I am excited that I have a bra called HotMilk! :) oh yea!!!

I am waiting on my other 2 to get here... but it will be a week or so! :( boooo


and tomorrow I should receive my cloth diapers along with cloth wipes and wipe solution!!! :) YAY FOR CLOTH!!!

I am also feeling better the past 2 days... coping a little better each day! I am getting sunshine and taking my crazy pill and getting a little more rest thanks to nursing in bed! :)

now off to make dinner!!!

an ear on my arm!

My baby boy is 6 weeks old!!! I was nursing him for the 3rd time in about 30 minutes (keep eating, stopping, eating, stopping) and then he fell asleep on my lap! I now have an ear print on my arm! :)

I had my 6 week postpartum appointment today! Doctor says everything looks good. YAY for that! haha But I have been having some "mood" swings.. I have my good days and my bad days... i HATE it! I cannot stand feeling so unmotivated and like I am a horrible mother because I don't feel so super excited about my new baby as I should... and I very much DISLIKE getting angry so easily... :( The doctor prescribed me at least 20 minutes of outdoor time a day and a very low dose of zoloft. I feel sort of like I have taken the "easy" way out of my moodiness.. BUT then i just keep looking back at all the times I just didn't entertain Isabella like she deserved! Life has been tough since I got pregnant... and I thought that maybe it would have gotten better after delivery and after my hormones had time to adjust... but NOPE!! I am hoping that this will help me manage and cope better for my kids and for my husband. It is so hard to not have friends or family near by to get out of the house more and talk to people... other than my 6wk old and my 2 yr old! I love talking to Isabella... she is GREAT but sometimes a person needs some "real" interaction! Being a stay at home mom is hard work! but totally worth it!! :)

I guess I should try and sleep a little now... I have been up since 5:30am and no nap! :(

Here's to hoping baby sleeps good tonight!!

pushing forward!

I have had SO MANY ups and downs since just being pregnant... my husband was deployed for 6 months and 2weeks after he left I found out I was pregnant! WOO HOO.. we weren't really preventing it. I have horrible mood swings when prego! :( and on top of that I was extremely stressed! Now the baby is born and I am still having mood swings! it has been almost 6 weeks and there are days where i just want to sleep and I get very angry at the smallest things :( but then the next day I have an awesome day! I feel rested and like I can take on the world! I like those days the most!! :) I come across a lot of bumps in the road with having a baby and a 2 year old! It is hard to sit down and nurse a baby and try and relax while your 2yr old pokes and pulls at the new born! BUT THAT'S LIFE!! With my first child I realized that there aren't many places to sell a good fitting nursing bra... 1 bump for the road! With my son I was determined to find some nice fitting ones... Lindasonline is awesome! I FINALLY got to order 4 new bras today!! WOO HOO! so i am feeling better about that! 2nd bump - a baby that is either eating, sleeping, or crying! = NOT FUN! My poor baby has HORRIBLE gas and a bad diaper rash that I just can't figure out!! I feel like a bad mommie because I can't get the rash to go away and I can't figure out if it is something I am eating causing the gas! :( BUT that too shall pass with time I am sure!

So many things going on in my life... that in my head seem so HORRIBLE when in reality they are not! but It is good to just vent and get things off my mind before bed!

3rd bump- our car is breaking... we finally get it paid off and now it seems one thing after another is just breaking :( this makes my husband stressed and then I get stressed because well I don't work.. I'm not contributing! (which isn't true - I am at home raising the kids - but I don't see it this way most of the time!)

There really aren't that many things going on this week as I imagined! It has just been a rough day for me! Tomorrow will be lots better I am sure!!!! :)

Good Night to me! :)

let's see how this goes

well... life has been a bit crazy lately! I am now learning to be a parent to a 4 week old and a 2 year old. I am also trying to get use to not working. I know I haven't been working for quit some time now but for the first 6 months it seemed more like a vacation. Now I am truly the "house wife" and I have to clean and cook and do laundry and raise the kids and teach them things. It is over whelming haha



It just seems like things keep happening around me right after each other. If it's not my mom losing her job, or my sis in law being put on bed rest while pregnant, or my uncle passing away, my step dad getting hurt, my great friend having her son really early (check out her blog and be praying for baby pierce http://littlebabypierce.blogspot.com) or just me feeling down (baby blues i think) it just never seems to end. Why can't everyone just be in good health and happy and live life? Why must there be so many trials? I sometimes wish life could be as simple as it was when I was a child. but then i remember that i was just left in the dark as a child... life still had the same struggles and trials.. it was just kept from me... :/ which is better?

Well it is time for me to try and get some sleep before my 4 week old wakes to eat! I am awake way more than i am use to lately!!! oh the joys of being a mother! :)